In Cantonese, the name for your grandfather on your mother’s side is “Goong Goong”. When I was growing up, I never referred to my granddad as Goong Goong around my friends. They all called their granddad’s “Grandpa” or “Pop”, and I felt silly talking about my Goong Goong. I even went so far as trying to call him “Grandpa” to his face. He just went on referring to himself as Goong Goong in third person. Eventually, I realised I was being stupid and Goong Goong would always be Goong Goong.
About a month ago whilst I was in Asia, Goong Goong fell very ill and was admitted to hospital. I booked the soonest flight I could to come over to New Zealand and see him, but he sadly passed away before I could make it back. Although the last few weeks have been tough, they have given me time to reflect on how lucky I was to call this kind, generous man my grandfather. Without realising it, he taught me some valuable life lessons that have really been driven home with his passing. Too often, I think these can go overlooked or forgotten, and sometimes we need a reminder about what is most important to us.
Enjoy the company of others without needing to say anything
Goong Goong was a man of few words. He wasn’t the type of person you would sit and chat for hours with. But he was also the sort of person that you didn’t need to. Time with him would more likely be spent working in the garden, feeding his fish and turtles, walking along Otaki beach, or sitting and reading the newspaper together. We got to know each other by simply being together. In a world where everyone always has something to say, I think the beauty of enjoying another person’s company is being forgotten. Silence isn’t always awkward. You don’t always need to say or do something to be happy to spend time with someone.
Actions speak louder than words
Despite never saying a whole lot, Goong Goong had so many friends and relatives that admired and respected him. He was always going out of his way to help others without expecting anything in return. As a market gardener, he would bring down fresh fruit and veggies for his relatives to make sure they’d be well fed. To him, it was far more important to show people you cared about them by doing things for them, rather than just talking about it.
Work hard
Goong Goong lived through the wartime in China, and when he moved back to New Zealand, he started his market gardening business from scratch. He worked long hours not only to grow produce, but sell it at the market and run a shop in town. He worked relentlessly to give his family a better upbringing than he’d had, and so they never would have to go without. This is something I seriously take for granted, and am prone to laziness and procrastination instead of getting to work. But I know if I buckle down and work hard, I can create the kind of future that would make Goong Goong proud.
Enjoy the simple things in life
Goong Goong enjoyed the simple things in life. It was one of the most important things I’ve learnt from him. Eating fresh fruit hand-picked from a tree in his garden; going for long walks along Otaki beach; dropping in for afternoon tea with old friends; enjoying the presence of one another’s company without needing to say or do anything, just being together. They’re some of life’s most precious moments that can too often go overlooked. In country New Zealand, time seems to slow down. Life is stripped back to the simpler things. We get a chance to live and breathe in these moments, moments that can be snatched away all too quickly.
For all the people in your life that you care about, call them, see them, talk to them. Spend what time you can with them. Too often, we take tomorrow for granted. Life is short and, sometimes, we can forget what matters most.
